The Whopper of Coffee
Hey hey, ho ho, BK Joe Has Got To Go: SBC to be sold at Whopper Warehouse by Autumn 2010
High U.S. unemployment has dented breakfast sales at fast-food chains since fewer people are driving past the restaurants on their way to work.
Smuckers Shucks To Suckers
The John Jacob Jingleheimer Smuckers Corporation, now in league with the folks at Folgers Co., issued lower-than-expected projections for their 2010 corporate tower of power cash money millionaire pyramid. It seems that America, in a shocking display of decency and umbrage, has turned her back on the flavor crystal.
Green Mountain Coffee Running Black
Green Mountain Coffee, the 30 ton gorilla in the publicity stunt game preserve of instant coffee, saw shares rise on news that it plans to incorporate Folgers and Millstone into it’s single-serving Keurig machine packs. That noise you hear? It’s the sound of the great apes weeping for your taste and decency.
Under the multiyear deal, Green Mountain will use Smucker’s popular coffee brands — which include Folgers and Millstone coffees — in packs that work with its single-cup Keurig brewing system. The terms of the deal were not disclosed.
The packs, called K-Cups, will start becoming available by fall.
The Keurig brewer has been a fast-growing business for Green Mountain. In its last quarter, sales of the Keurig single-cup portion packs more than doubled, while sales of its Keurig brewer and accessories rose by more than 86 percent.
Triumph of the Swill Weekly Report: February 18-25, 2010