The internet is only good for a couple of things. One of those things is the video meme. Here are some of the most talked about, most blogged about, guffaw-inducing coffee video memes of the last few years. They’ve appeared on coffeed, portafilter, and other purveyors of online coffee culture, and we’ve coagulated them here for you in a Sprudge-sized serving.

Jim Henson’s ultraviolent Wilkin’s Coffee advertisements

The maestro of Muppetry got his start on DC-area cable access in the early 1950s. Before he went on to change the way we think about children’s programming, Television variety shows, and David Bowie, he made these charmingly brutal adverts for one of the early titans of swill, Wilkin’s Coffee. Positively Tarantino-esque. Enjoy!

Folgers TV Ads

Before there was “Mad Men”, there was living, breathing, crushing misogyny brewing beneath the surface of American society. Why not use it to sell some coffee? You know, the girl at the office really *does* know how to work a percolator…

Andriana – Coffee Dream

This charming, rhyming import from the Eastern Bloc shows us why Communism was destined to fail from the beginning: a fundamental lack of latte schlock pop nonsense. Just try to prevent the Brill Building brilliance of Andriana from getting stuck in your head. We dare you.

1961 – This Is Coffee

Someone had to teach America about coffee. Who better than the Coffee Brewing Institute? We here at Sprudge would give anything to have the coffee serving set-ups featured in this video. Gilded silver percolating urns? How continental!

Hourglass Coffee Brew System

Outrageous cold brew cougar-rama. Does anyone actually own one of these things? Do they really exist? According to “the biggest lab in the world”, the Hourglass system produces coffee with 69.6% less acidity than the “hot brew”. It’s smooth, it doesn’t hurt your stomach, and it doesn’t really make sense. Grandma knows best.

Heather Perry’s Got Milk Spot

When you win the USBC, it’s like becoming a superstar athlete. You get your photo on the cover of Barista Magazine (the Wheaties box), you get a trip to the WBC (“I’m going to Disneyland!”), and you’re featured in the Dairy Council’s “Got Milk” ad campaign (Gatorade? Nike? Shaquille O’Neal for Icy-Hot?) Two-time Barista Champion Heather Perry is comfortable in front of the camera, pours a lovely rosetta, and knows how to wrist twist a Moka Pot with the best of them. All you competitors in this year’s round robin Barista brew-offs, pay heed: all this can be yours.

Safety Dan Humphries on the Today Show

Uhm…we originally ran this video under the headline “Bitches’ Brew”, and we stand by it. I hope Dan Humphries was paid handsomely for his appearance on the Today Show; if not, he can take comfort in the fact that he’s the star of perhaps the greatest coffee meme train wreck of all time. Enjoy!

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James Hoffmann’s “Cremapocalypse Now”

Crema is rubbish! Crema is bollocks! All you lackadaisical gongoozlers out there could learn a thing or two from Jim Seven. Court controversy! Change the game! Ask the question that has haunted the dreams of mankind since evolutionary advanced apes first introduced fire to water: “…But How Does It Taste?”

Jefferson Starbucks

Knee-deep in the mocha/making coffee right
So many partners/working late at night
We just want to build here–IMDS, does it pass?
We call on development to complete the task!

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