#SWRBC: Where The “B” Stands For Bonko

Editors Note: Cody Bonko is a 20-something Venice Beach barista and occasional unpaid Sprudge contributor. A self-described “street latte artist”, ardent temperature surfer and passionate pressure profiler, Mr. Bonko brings his unique blend of California journalism to our 2012 coverage of the SWRBC.

 

Yo this is Cody Bonko from the 714, makin’ booboo on them boardwalk boobooz in Santa Cruz, straight beachin’ with my baristazz, nawmean? Bonko’s got mad flavor, y’all, and I’m gettin COOKED in that sunshine, maxin’ out on the beach and munchin’ on that laffy taffy! SANTA CRUISIN’ BABY, rockin’ my FAT tamp stamps, droppin’ capps to the dome!

I’mma be gettin’ my Verve on while I’m gettin’ my swerve on, nawmean? Dosin’, make sure my grams be tight, sweatin’ my settins’ and goin’ BOOM BAW on the sensory dispensary! Bonko be bonezin’, nawmean? Then after after hours, I’mma be throwin’ down on the chump clowns, itchin’ for a skitchin’, ready to judge or be judged, y’all. Who’s ridin’ the bull?

Here’s three bangin’ tips for yo’ weekend on the freak end:

1. Don’t waste my flavor. Damn!

2. Watch your time like you watch your buck-buck. Keep it hand-brewed, and don’t DQ on some OT.

3. Yo, these booboos be bouncin, nawmean? But watch out for them honey bees!

That’s it y’all. Stay ziplocked, get that KNOCK BOX on, and keep yo’ flavor wrapped like the Easter Bunny. Cody B out!