Swill: Starbucks Breaks Up The Beetles
After a thorough, yet fastidious, evaluation, I am pleased to report that we are reformulating the affected products to assure the highest quality possible. Our expectation is to be fully transitioned to lycopene, a natural, tomato-based extract, in the strawberry sauce (base) used in our Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino® blended beverage and Strawberry Banana Smoothie. Likewise, we are transitioning away from the use of cochineal extract in our food offerings which currently contain it (Raspberry Swirl Cake, Birthday Cake Pop, Mini Donut with pink icing, and Red Velvet Whoopie Pie).
Mr. Burrows’ blog post is a huge step forward for transparency in Starbucks’ varied and disgusting use of controversial animal products*, which include bat guano coagulate as a Frappuccino thickener, donkey foreskin as a flavoring agent in their matcha base, and their newly-launched Abattoir Crunch™ line of breakfast granola. We eagerly await the next vegan blog compost-storm surrounding these and other, equally vile products.
*For more information on why we can’t be sued for saying these horrible things about Starbucks, all of which are obviously meant as parody, please consult here.