Silly-Con Valley: Your Choice In Cafe Is Worth Beaucoup Bucks

Owen Thomas, court scribe for Business Insider, has published a cafe crawl guide for young entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley. All things being equal, his map doesn’t give two hoots about quality service, drinks, or even roasters – it’s based solely on the cafe’s ability to help you sell your precious startup to a cabal of Internet Titans!

The closer you are to Caltrain, basically, the more eager the venture capitalist is.

Coupa Café? Ask for a higher valuation.

University Cafe? You might be able to lower the rate on the cumulative dividends.

Ooh, lower the rate on the cumulative dividends, burn! Read Business Insider for the full list, or simply check out our handy map below! You can thank us with stock.

View Silicon Valley Startup Deal Cafes in a larger map