Liveblogging Jason Alexander As Nickelback’s Barista

So, this is a real thing that happened: Jason Alexander starring as “Bud” the Barista in Nickelback’s latest video, “Trying Not To Love You.” Since first appearing yesterday on the Huffington Post, the video appears to have been liberally passed around the coffee blogosphere, the original article has been reblogged all across the internet, and CoffeeGeek founder Mark Prince called it “the BEST barista video of all time” on Twitter.

Since it’s been shared, blogged, and bowed for a Princely anointment, it wouldn’t be prudent for us to just slap this video on Sprudge without comment. It then becomes our duty to liveblog every last detail of the video, based on notes we took during our first viewing, because we anticipated this stupid video’s popularity and also because we do this all for you, our readers, who are us, the 99% (or something). Enough secret layered mockery! Here’s the notes from our first viewing:

* A quick Googling reveals that the cafe where this video was filmed is no longer in operation. We blame Nickelback, obviously.

* Wild free pouring, wild tamping, wild etching.

* Jason Alexander saying “half-caf mocha say latte-ccino” makes us think he’s a little old for all this.

* Brooke Burns plays Jennifer with a G. Gennifer.

* The full introduction is a minute and 15 seconds, and then…Nickelback kicks in.

* That former Baywatch star splayed out and filmed from above on a bed of beans, ala George Howell.

* The pour at 2:56 is pretty textbook. No way Alexander actually did that – who was the barista for hire on this? Email us at PaidForShame@sprudge.com.

* Gross.

* Portafilter holster (3:25) coming to a USBC regional near you.

* The Wario-Jason Alexander at 3:15 look like actual baristas we know.

* Shop manager at 3:45 is very “authentic”

* This is close to being the worst thing anyone from “Seinfeld” has done since that show went away. It’s worse than that awful “Old Adventures of New Christine”, although not quite as bad as that Michael Richards thing…his TV show, not that other thing.

* Nickelback foam etching, people. Right there at 4:21.

* “Finito!” Like Jason Alexander’s music video career.