Minneapolis: Dark Roasted Coffee On eBay? That’s Cray Cray

Meet Cray Cray Coffee, the new coffee brand out of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Cray Cray Coffee and its associates, the Cray Cray Coffee Crew, have but one shared goal: to “make your mouth sing notes of cray cray”, while also making good use of some overstock Burundi Kiryama. Here’s more from Cray Cray on eBay:

The Cray-Cray Coffee Crew in Minneapolis is proud to offer 5lbs of freshly roasted, fully washed and sun-dried arabica coffee from the Kayanza region of Burundi. At a medium roast, we have noticed that it has taken on an attribute in which coffee professionals consider to be past-cropish-like, perhaps slightly faded with notes of woodiness..  Ah, oh no.. but don’t let that fool you too hard into thinking we can’t bring out what’s left in this amazingly complex coffee.  In order to bring out some pleasing notes, we’re roasting it a bit deeper, into the second crack stage of development, where roast attributes cover this up rather nicely!!

They’re selling Cray Cray on eBay, which is a regular trunk show of Jamaica Blues, K Cups, and questionable green, but we digress – Cray Cray Coffee as white label performance art raises a beautiful point. While some might term a lighter roast of this coffee “past-cropish”, this Kayanza can taste great roasted darker. It’s for folks who might happen to like dark roasted coffee, and we think that’s wonderful.

Similarly wonderful (and functioning as a kind of dog whistle for coffee nerds) is Cray Cray Coffee’s exacting set of parameters on how best to brew their beans, attached to the eBay listing and clearly tongue-in-cheek in its specificity. To whit:

We recommend a brew ratio of 1:15 for a v-60, or 1:14.7 ratio for a clever, and perhaps consider a 1:18 to 1:20 ratio for the Fecto automatic brewer extractor series.  It is also recommended to grind on a medium setting where the particle size rests mostly between 500-800µm using water at about 205-206F, to which the total brew time is equal to or less than 4 minutes for most of the stated brewing methods above… if you choose to extract this for espresso, we’d then recommend dosing perhaps 20 grams of very finely ground cray-cray in a 20 gram VST basket with a brew time of approximately 25-28 seconds with a beverage weight of around 30grams, which is like 1.5floz in volume, including the crema.  We shoot for about 12%TDS and 18-22% total extraction percentage.. but really it all comes down to taste. so adjust you know. go cray cray with it!!

That’s officially the most exacting set of instructions ever issued for dark roast coffee.

Learn more and bask in Cray Cray’s oddball glory on eBay.

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