We consider ourselves pretty darn lucky at Sprudge.com – we’ve been blessed by contributions throughout 2010 from a lovable, eccentric cast of characters the world over. From Bonnie Greene in Massapequa Park, Long Island, to Greggory Hullzenbløgger from the fjords of Lapland, to Carl Mundy at the Waterbed Warehouse in Twin Falls, Idaho, we’re proud and delighted to exhibit some of the most eccentric and relevant coffee writing on the web. We asked our lovable rogues gallery to talk about their favorite products and predictions for 2011. Enjoy!
When I first took up this job as Sprudge.com Stay At Home Barista contributor position, I wasn’t sure I had the snuff it takes to write coffee. Sure I drink the stuff, buy my kids Hario Minimills for Hanukkah, but to write for a tabloid coffee website? Me? What a wild year.
My favorite item for 2010 was the Mypressi Twist Refresh. I always go for the latest, greatest, and hardest to get a hold of on the phone.
My prediction for 2011 is the reemergence of the Modestly Dressed Barista Drive Thrus. I’ve had enough of those scantily clad Her-Rista hussies!
Favorite Item: the Coava Kone is easy like Sunday morning. Fill ‘er up, pour ‘er over, get down with summa that sound ground. I keep this little doozy on the shelf for when I get my grubby hands on that direct trade farmer handshake microlot yeeha!
Prediction For 2011: New Wife, New Frontier, branchin’ out from the ol’ Waterbed Warehouse, opening my own line of drive-through stands. And Bonnie, look out, cos ain’t nothin’ gonna be modest about ‘em!
Favorite Item: Stumptown Cold Brew In A Bottle
Prediction: Signs point to “yes”. Believe in your dreams, you can achieve your goals. I’m living proof. Purchase Dr. Sprudgely plush dolls at a Hot Topic near you. Tell your friends.
Bjørn Børg! I løves the chances to writes to yøus on the whøøsy whatzits of the cøffees from across gløbes! This was years of grands and modests achievements for the Greggory, includings the births of my søns, Trøllgar, and the launches of my signatures bøøks of the guides pamphlets før writings øn the English languages.
Favorites Items: The Tim Wendelbøøks! By the Tim Wendelbøes! It warms my hearts to reads, much likes the Nordøxens who is devøureds for the feasts of Years News.
The Predictiøns For Yøus: Servings the røasts the days they røasts!
Favorite Item: Soviet Stop Watches
Prediction: A Producing Country Winner for the WBC (that doesn’t include the USA, even though technically they grow coffee in the USA, and not just in Hawaii, but you probably didn’t know that. Technically I will punch you in the dick).
I have-a been givva da chance to make-a my name onna da Sprudge, and still, a nobody like-a me. I aska, “why you no like-a da Giorgio?” Just because-a your coffee issa crap, don’t mean you need to kill-a da messengiere. Affa goo!
Favorite Item: Illy Espresso
Prediction: Illy buys-a da Starbucks
My friends, 2010 has been a year of bloat, bile, bulbous breach of brevity, and bubbling Bunns of brew-haha bric-a-brac. Our beloved industry lacks not in pioneering spirit, capitalist ingenuity or spit-shine gumption; it lacks only in shame, particularly among those in the highest echelons of powerbroker poobah political positioneering. For shame, forsooth, and forthwards in 2011 with our mission of truth, freedom, and coffee crafted the Right way.
Favorite Item: Zoom H1 Recorder
Prediction: A proclivity for proprietary Podcasts