As a coffee publication first and foremost, it seemed pretty cut and dry whom Sprudge.com would endorse in the coming election. Mitt Romney is a faithful practitioner of the Mormon faith, which we’re totally cool with, except it means he’s not allowed to drink coffee due to Mormonism’s forbearance of caffeine; meanwhile, Barack Obama is like the three-bean Kona / Indonesian / Kenya blend of our dreams, with an Export A on the side. It’s an election no brainer, right?
Well hold your rhetorical horses, people, because it turns there’s a loophole…a sacrilicious and caffeinated loophole…for lo, as it turns out, Governor Romney has a sweet tooth for getting HEPPED UP on coffee ice cream! It’s a revelation that has wrecked asunder that which we thought we knew about American political life. More from the real winner in this story, AP news stringer Charles Babington
Mitt Romney joins other observant Mormons in shunning alcohol and coffee. He apparently draws the line at ice cream.
The Republican presidential candidate ordered coffee ice cream at Millie’s restaurant in Nantucket Saturday when he bought treats for his staff and mingled with diners. His aides selected flavors including vanilla, rocky road, butter pecan and birthday cake ice cream. It’s not clear that Romney took more than a bite or two as he shook hands and posed for pictures in the crowded and buzzing vacation eatery.
Mormons traditionally avoid alcohol and caffeine. Romney aides shrugged off the selection, saying the candidate can have whatever kind of ice cream he likes.
A little poorly researched background: Mormon founder Joseph Smith said God sent him the law of health in 1833, also known as the Words of Wisdom. In the WoW, tobacco, coffee, tea, caffeine, alcohol, and “illegal drugs” are forbidden. Strict Mormons also forbid “likenesses of evil,” so candy smokes, booze-flavored gum drops, and decaf coffee are out.
But make no mistake – according to all manner of Google results, there’s totally a lot of caffeine in ice cream, including between 50 and 60 mgs of caffeiene per 8 oz serving of Starbucks or Haagen-Dasz. In fact, the website 11 Points claims that one scoop of coffee ice cream has more caffeine than a whole can of soda!
What’s next, Romney? Synthetic pot bong rips with Matt Drudge? A hot buttered rum hard candy bender with Grover Norquist? We think a little walk on the wild side might invigorate the undecideds. We can tell you where to find some GREAT shots of decaf espresso on your travels around America, Mitt…