ElectionWatch: Unfiltered! Obama Denies Man’s Sweet Buns

Andrew Brewtbart is an author, commentator, and leader of the Conservative Coffee Movement. A longtime contributor to this website, Mr. Brewtbart will be joining us for election coverage throughout Fall 2012.

My friends, Obama and his cronies are on a whirlwind 20-plus vehicle motorcade country craw, no doubt paid for by your tax dollars. Between Des Moines and Oskloosa, POTUS deigned himself to stop at a small business called the Coffee Connection, where he ordered up some coffee, some iced tea, and some pastry (French pastry, no doubt). That’s when things took a turn for the lugubrious:

When he asked again if anyone else in the shop would like anything, a man across the room shouted back that he would like a cinnamon roll. The president responded that he had ordered the last cinnamon roll, but could buy the man a muffin instead.

Outrageous! Surely President Barack Obama knows that a muffin is not a cinnamon roll. That’s a sorry alternative at best. But this brand of Orwellian semantic bait-and-switchery is exactly what we’ve come to expect from a man so steeped in Chicago brew bar politics. This man hears that you, the tax paying public, want a sweet, sticky, spicy bun, literally dripping with a generous dollop of frosting, the sugars caramelized, your very tongue drenched in aqueous salivation  – and what does President Obama give you? A dense slice of nut cake, crowned with roll of fatty top.

The American People want cinnamon rolls, not muffins, Mr. Obama. Have you no shame? Have you no decency? You’ve bought every last bun for yourself, haven’t you, Mr. President? Haven’t you? But sure, you’ll buy us a muffin. There’s still a muffin left for the common folks, the constituents in fly-over country, denizens of a real America that still dares to dream of frosting, of cinnamon, of life’s sweet bounty.

Remember that, America. Dare to dream. Order your cinnamon roll before it’s too late.