8. A barista should never utter these words: “We don’t do…”
You can’t control all the weird things you’re asked by the public, but you can control how you respond. If someone says “can I get a triple caramel frappe mochachini frozen blend?”, well, everything inside of you might want to snark, but good baristas resist the urge. A simple “I’m sorry, we don’t have blenders” is so much more professional than saying “we don’t do that here.”
7. A barista should never visit their café on their day off, kick off the barista on bar, and pull themselves a shot of espresso.
This actually happens. We have confirmation. What’s more annoying, the fact that you don’t trust your fellow employees, or the fact that you’re so totally arrogant about your own abilities? Relax, man.
6. A barista should never tell their customers the following: “We’re done washing dishes for the night.”
We’ll wash the demitasse ourselves if we have to, seriously. Just don’t do it. If you were that closed, you’d have flushed the machine already.
5. A barista should never shit talk other coffee companies.
Of course, every barista shit-talks other coffee companies. It’s kind of an art form. But you should never ever do this while on bar; save it for your second margarita, AFTER you get off work. Your customers come to you because they already know you’re awesome; you don’t need to talk smack about the cafe down the block to prove your worth.
4. A barista should never say anything that even remotely sounds like the following: “I can’t make your cappuccino extra hot, because technically a cappuccino is supposed to be cooler than a latte. Technically.”
Technically, you’re a jerk.
3. A barista should never draw a penis in a customer’s latte.
It might seem like a good idea at the time…until the customer goes home and blogs about it.
2. A barista should never, ever play the following movie soundtracks in their cafe: Amelie, Rushmore, Garden State.
Also included on this list: that stupid Shins record we’ve all heard ten thousand times.
1. A barista should never wear pajamas to work.
Unacceptable. This is not Sophomore year, and you are not late to your Botany lecture. You need to put on a real pair of pants. No one expects you to be the belle of the ball at 5:45 in the morning, but you have time to wear jeans.
Inspired by Proper Barista Etiquette.