DieHipster.WordPress.com Hates Mike Jones, Itself
DieHipster.Wordpress.com, a WordPress-based snark blog that bills itself as “A place for real New Yorkers to vent about the invasion of attention starved, useless adults that we know as hipsters” has recently focused its lazer-like gift of useless verbiage on NERBC and USBC competition barista Mike Jones. Mike fell under the glare of DieHipster.Wordpress.com’s “spotlight” while working at noted Manhattan cafe Third Rail. From their posting, titled “The Barista Olympics” and featuring a photo of Mr. Jones:
“This unique and quirky individual has chosen coffee as his hipster shtick. At age 25, his accomplishment and contribution to society is designing latte foam. Also if I’m not mistaken, he is the first person to wear a fedora, thick frames and tattoo sleeve simultaneously. Wow, a true pioneer. I guarantee you this annoying bastard somehow manages to pay for an over-priced ‘”cool nabe” apartment, a collection of i-Products, a wardrobe of over-priced ironic t-shirts and vintage hipster accessories all on a barista’s salary.”
The post also features 175 (and counting!) comments from enlightened and erudite DieHipster.Wordpress.com readers. Highlights include: “you have to treat these people like a roach or rodent infestation“, “Can he just pour me a rilly kewel cup of coffee to go in 30 seconds, so I can get to my JOB on time?“, and “I was a professional Barista too. When I was 16 years old in high school. Then I grew up“. Another poster offered extensive Wikipedia quotations to assert that Mike Jones is a “21st Century Remittance Man”, an embarrassment to his family, and the owner of a purposeless life.
All in all, DieHipster.Wordpress.com and its learned, reasonable cadre of readers are merely actors in an on-going urban culture play with deep roots in the American experience. We’ve been collectively ridiculing others for their physical appearance since the dawn of this very nation. Their comments remind us of “We Hate Irishmen”, an informal news magazine published in New York’s 5 Points neighborhood in the mid-19th century. There, features with headlines like “Sully O’Sullivan, Silly Smithee” or “John John Flaherty, Maker Of Meat Pies” evoked countless vitriolic letters of agreement to the WHI editorial staff. Or let’s not forget the San Francisco-based railroad era monthly publication “Laundry Quandry”, in which staff and readers alike were permitted endless racial epithets, each more pointed than the last, directed at the Bay Area’s sizable Chinese immigrant population.
To the author of DieHipster.Wordpress.com, an editorial note: there is nothing, and we mean nothing, more quintessentially hipstery than owning and operating on a daily basis your very own blogatorial font of snark and bullshit. Trust us. You’re like that girl in high school who tried to crack wise like Daria Morgendorffer, but without a team of writers. Quit ripping off Vice Magazine.
And to Mike Jones…keep turnin’ heads. You’re a bonafide Sprudge.com HunkShot™, and we love you.
hate is hate, friend.
“lets talk about how we can use those swaps to take a swap from Pablo and test it for how low his T-cell count is dropping”
this is a comment from one of your anti-hipster comrades. see how quickly “hating” a subculture turns into something much more sinister? round up the torches and the pitchforks and get the nooses ready.
yes sweetie, you get to be the victim. Except the victimhood started right at the top with claiming hipsters were treated like Irish and Chinese immigrants. You picked opened the door, I just walked in. Gays, Irish, Chinese…..folks just born that way and their is nothing wrong with that. People are not born hipsters, they make themselves hipsters and then expect others to repsect them, their fashion choices, their stupid hats, their Woody Allen glasses, no pants subway rides, militant bike lane bullshit, shitty music, illegal trailer parks, illegal houseboats, and their whining, sniveling blogs complaining that their tips are not big enough. They make these choices and I am expected to respect them. Want to look at something? Look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, hating YOUUUUUU, hipster. I hate you. Go Home, you are not wanted in my city
Sounds like some one’s got glitter sand in her vagina. ;)
That’s not glitter, those are the grounds from Mike special Unicorn fart blend. $16.75 a cup and ready in under 20 minutes…….with a very, very special swirl!
sounds like heaven! mike is hot hot hot!
A lot of dissing going on around here.
Just wanted to say that not all baristas look like Mr. Jones. He has his style and I have mine and I can attest that I DO NOT look like him at all. Neither do my co-workers. We absolutely love coffee and we love to serve great coffee to everyone who wants to try it. I am not here to judge you, I am not here to diss anyone, I just want to make things perfectly clear. We don’t all look the same. I couldn’t possibly even think of looking like Mr. Jones because I don’t really have to. I don’t want to. It’s a choice. Thing is, the ones that DO have a style similar to Mr. Jones’s get all the bad rap because they’re written off as “hipsters”. If he wants to dress a certain way, that’s cool with me. All I really care about is the cup of perfectly crafted coffee beverage that I gave a damn about preparing for you. That will speak for itself.
Frank V hits the nail on the head
“it’s just FUCKING coffee, anyone can make it the same”
Have your taste buds checked out. Also, go use an espresso machine and then tell me that. I get it, not everyone is into coffee, but what are YOUR hobbies?
I still don’t get what makes being a coffee enthusiast “wrong”?
You don’t walk into a haute couture clothing boutique and expect to randomly grab stuff off the racks like it was K Mart, you don’t go into a Michelin starred restaurant and complain about the wait time
The Irish oppression comment was a tad out of line, yes, but that’s not what the argument is about
You don’t like the way a person looks, fine, but judge an individual entire life on one pic?
As someone who has grown tired of the hipster problem, I propose beating them in the streets. Who’s with me!?
The article misses the point that hipsters WANT to be annoying, pretentious little pricks for the express purpose of antagonizing others. This is not discrimination against someone on the basis of appearance because hipsters CHOOSE their own appearance.