DieHipster.WordPress.com Hates Mike Jones, Itself
DieHipster.Wordpress.com, a WordPress-based snark blog that bills itself as “A place for real New Yorkers to vent about the invasion of attention starved, useless adults that we know as hipsters” has recently focused its lazer-like gift of useless verbiage on NERBC and USBC competition barista Mike Jones. Mike fell under the glare of DieHipster.Wordpress.com’s “spotlight” while working at noted Manhattan cafe Third Rail. From their posting, titled “The Barista Olympics” and featuring a photo of Mr. Jones:
“This unique and quirky individual has chosen coffee as his hipster shtick. At age 25, his accomplishment and contribution to society is designing latte foam. Also if I’m not mistaken, he is the first person to wear a fedora, thick frames and tattoo sleeve simultaneously. Wow, a true pioneer. I guarantee you this annoying bastard somehow manages to pay for an over-priced ‘”cool nabe” apartment, a collection of i-Products, a wardrobe of over-priced ironic t-shirts and vintage hipster accessories all on a barista’s salary.”
The post also features 175 (and counting!) comments from enlightened and erudite DieHipster.Wordpress.com readers. Highlights include: “you have to treat these people like a roach or rodent infestation“, “Can he just pour me a rilly kewel cup of coffee to go in 30 seconds, so I can get to my JOB on time?“, and “I was a professional Barista too. When I was 16 years old in high school. Then I grew up“. Another poster offered extensive Wikipedia quotations to assert that Mike Jones is a “21st Century Remittance Man”, an embarrassment to his family, and the owner of a purposeless life.
All in all, DieHipster.Wordpress.com and its learned, reasonable cadre of readers are merely actors in an on-going urban culture play with deep roots in the American experience. We’ve been collectively ridiculing others for their physical appearance since the dawn of this very nation. Their comments remind us of “We Hate Irishmen”, an informal news magazine published in New York’s 5 Points neighborhood in the mid-19th century. There, features with headlines like “Sully O’Sullivan, Silly Smithee” or “John John Flaherty, Maker Of Meat Pies” evoked countless vitriolic letters of agreement to the WHI editorial staff. Or let’s not forget the San Francisco-based railroad era monthly publication “Laundry Quandry”, in which staff and readers alike were permitted endless racial epithets, each more pointed than the last, directed at the Bay Area’s sizable Chinese immigrant population.
To the author of DieHipster.Wordpress.com, an editorial note: there is nothing, and we mean nothing, more quintessentially hipstery than owning and operating on a daily basis your very own blogatorial font of snark and bullshit. Trust us. You’re like that girl in high school who tried to crack wise like Daria Morgendorffer, but without a team of writers. Quit ripping off Vice Magazine.
And to Mike Jones…keep turnin’ heads. You’re a bonafide Sprudge.com HunkShot™, and we love you.
Let’s get to the root of this problem. Just like the majority of you will hate on people who wear fancy suits and can afford to eat $50 catered lunches because they work Wall Street whereas the blue-collar guy gets a sandwich at the deli cart. You all probably feel they somehow robbed you of your own American dream. None of this has to do with anybody being pretentious more so than it has to do with the income/wealth gap in major metropolitan areas. At the end of the day, the majority of city dwellers will always feel like someone is trying to exert superiority because of the things other people buy or how they act. These are called “social tells”… what class someone thinks they belong to, or a social group when they wear certain things, talk a certain way, carry themselves. So seriously, stop hating on others because you live in a big city and someone makes you feel like you can’t afford half the crap they buy and START FEELING SECURE by working hard, becoming educated, working towards the greater good humanity, and making money as a by-product of these endeavors so you don’t CARE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE IS SPENDING MONEY ON.
This hipster hate is outdated. Every generation will have a definitive consumer culture, whether it be hipsters, 50′s beach boys, 60′s hippies, 70′s retro, 80′s disco, what have you. Anyone who hates on others just because of the products they consume or job they have has the same type of hatred found in Nazis. Haters need to stop being shallow and reevaluate your own values and think why you are better than someone..enough so that you can say mean things about a person you don’t even know! This barista does not steal for a living. Would you rather feel better about yourselves if he was scrubbing toilets so you people can “put him in his place?”. All work is noble work, no matter what kind of uniform someone wears or how they go about their daily existence. Tattoos, hipster glasses, ironic t-shirts, whatever. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for judging someone based on these surface level attributes. Why don’t you just start making fun of poor people in Ethopia next…of course, you wouldn’t because they don’t make you feel bad or insecure about your own existence. Humans have a deep grounded hatred towards all those that make them feel bad about themselves. So stop hating on other people, and start improving on your own existence.
The article misses the point that hipsters WANT to be annoying, pretentious little pricks for the express purpose of antagonizing others. This is not discrimination against someone on the basis of appearance because hipsters CHOOSE their own appearance.
As someone who has grown tired of the hipster problem, I propose beating them in the streets. Who’s with me!?
Frank V hits the nail on the head
“it’s just FUCKING coffee, anyone can make it the same”
Have your taste buds checked out. Also, go use an espresso machine and then tell me that. I get it, not everyone is into coffee, but what are YOUR hobbies?
I still don’t get what makes being a coffee enthusiast “wrong”?
You don’t walk into a haute couture clothing boutique and expect to randomly grab stuff off the racks like it was K Mart, you don’t go into a Michelin starred restaurant and complain about the wait time
The Irish oppression comment was a tad out of line, yes, but that’s not what the argument is about
You don’t like the way a person looks, fine, but judge an individual entire life on one pic?
A lot of dissing going on around here.
Just wanted to say that not all baristas look like Mr. Jones. He has his style and I have mine and I can attest that I DO NOT look like him at all. Neither do my co-workers. We absolutely love coffee and we love to serve great coffee to everyone who wants to try it. I am not here to judge you, I am not here to diss anyone, I just want to make things perfectly clear. We don’t all look the same. I couldn’t possibly even think of looking like Mr. Jones because I don’t really have to. I don’t want to. It’s a choice. Thing is, the ones that DO have a style similar to Mr. Jones’s get all the bad rap because they’re written off as “hipsters”. If he wants to dress a certain way, that’s cool with me. All I really care about is the cup of perfectly crafted coffee beverage that I gave a damn about preparing for you. That will speak for itself.
Sounds like some one’s got glitter sand in her vagina. ;)
That’s not glitter, those are the grounds from Mike special Unicorn fart blend. $16.75 a cup and ready in under 20 minutes…….with a very, very special swirl!
sounds like heaven! mike is hot hot hot!
hate is hate, friend.
“lets talk about how we can use those swaps to take a swap from Pablo and test it for how low his T-cell count is dropping”
this is a comment from one of your anti-hipster comrades. see how quickly “hating” a subculture turns into something much more sinister? round up the torches and the pitchforks and get the nooses ready.
yes sweetie, you get to be the victim. Except the victimhood started right at the top with claiming hipsters were treated like Irish and Chinese immigrants. You picked opened the door, I just walked in. Gays, Irish, Chinese…..folks just born that way and their is nothing wrong with that. People are not born hipsters, they make themselves hipsters and then expect others to repsect them, their fashion choices, their stupid hats, their Woody Allen glasses, no pants subway rides, militant bike lane bullshit, shitty music, illegal trailer parks, illegal houseboats, and their whining, sniveling blogs complaining that their tips are not big enough. They make these choices and I am expected to respect them. Want to look at something? Look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, hating YOUUUUUU, hipster. I hate you. Go Home, you are not wanted in my city
did this site really just compare racism to hipster hate? get over yourself. choosing to wear a certain outfit is hardly the same as being ostracized for being born a certain race.
Brooklyn hipster, Brooklyn Haters or Diehipster freaks. All of you Brooklyn douches should get over yourselves. The rest of America stopped giving a crap about you a decade ago.
Their comments remind us of “We Hate Irishmen”, an informal news magazine published in New York’s 5 Points neighborhood in the mid-19th century. There, features with headlines like “Sully O’Sullivan, Silly Smithee” or “John John Flaherty, Maker Of Meat Pies” evoked countless vitriolic letters of agreement to the WHI editorial staff.”
I really fucking hate these hipster bastards trying to act like some oppressed minority.
I AM Irish, I was born in Ireland and I have always lived here. I KNOW our history.
Seeeing this ”blog” comparing hipster scum to ACTUAL Irish immigrants to America made my blood boil.
Hipster PLEASE! If these people didn’t want attention they wouldn’t blog about every mundane detail of their non-lives. It’s just time they got the attention they deserve.
Shit, that was intended for Pablo.
Simply put, its FUCKING coffee…and regardless of what you think, anyone make it just the same. Its not a special talent..
A bunch of butt-hurt “EYE-TALLLLL-IEAN” fuckers from boring Bensonhurst are hating on an industry with a C-Market through the fucking roof and who dedicate time and energy x1,000,000 to farmers on an intesely local level;;;; :
Where’s the anger and where’ the “who gives a shit?”
Not in those pussies, so ladies’s plesase back the fuck off.
P.S. I might still live with my mom but that’s because she knows that writing these comments is more important than working. She reads the funny comments I write and thinks they’re great. I’m 47 and usually very lonely, but as I beat off while writing these comments, I rest at night a little easier.
So just let me have this. It’s all I have.
easy enough to fake a name then deal with the cold hard facts of logic and reality. I was going to confine my comments to this thread, but now I think I will make a home of this whole pretentious site and add my 2 cents to every thread on this site. Judging by the one or 2 comments on all the other threads mentioning Diehipster on this site was the smartest thing they have ever done. It is the most popular thread in the sites history. But why don’t we talk about the little foam tools that we use to carve our cutsy-outsy little designs in out latte foam. Nah, lets talk about how we can use those swaps to take a swap from Pablo and test it for how low his T-cell count is dropping
“Pablo says:
May 20, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Dude you got too much fuckin’ time on your hands. Get a fuckin’ life you heartless monster. Trolling websites is not a cool pass-time.
Judgmental dick.
Pablo”
Listen here El Excelente, you trolled DieHipster on this site. ” heartless monster” ? Really A tad strong for someone calling out stupid hipsters. and comparing hipsters to Irish and Chinese immigrants? I got all the time in the world for you. Just had a cup of Mike’s coffee so I’m well caffeinated.
Coffee is a stimulant, true, but beer/liquor is just a depressant, what difference does it make if it’s Bud Light or Hof Ten Dormal?
Plenty of places for $1 coffee, but that’s not what this is about… You may not care, and that’s fine, I do…Same way you may care about a $300 jeans or $1000 handbags, I don’t… There is low end and high end of EVERYTHING (seriously…from soap, to electronics, to food, you may not care, someone out there does)
Also, where have you seen $10 coffee? The most I’ve ever seen was $8 a cup Hacienda La Esmeralda, which is the dom perignon of coffee (btw: dom perignon and $10 a bottle “champagne”, what’s the difference, gets you drunk the same =p) (Which, BTW: the Japanese
Organic? Don’t care- my favorite coffees (Kenyans) have no chance in hell of being passed off as organic
Most of New York’s respectable shops are actually not that slow (they maybe swamped with 20-30 people at a time, but you get the same thing at Starbucks..)
Takes about 30 seconds to pull a shot and about 45 to steam milk, with some over lap- the art takes little to no additional time, it’s still milk being dumped into coffee
Sure, there is the hipster look, but I have yet to see any disrespect given in any shop I frequent to anyone…
Hell, there’s a shop in the middle of NYC’s Civic Center, where a vast percentage of their clients work either in the courts or go to the law school near by… Call them hipsters too =p
I’m not defending the rude/obnoxious/arrogant “hipsters”, I’m just giving credit where its due
Why are you charging so much for coffee. Since you assclowns came along coffee prices have gone through the roof. You really think your sludge is that good? This is New York you idiots, FAST PACED. I WANT MY COFFEE FAST. Most folks who have jobs do. Coffee at one point was a $1.00 caffeine fix. It woke you up, it satisfied, it did it’s job. Coffee is not supposed to be an art. It’s supposed to be a stimulant. That’s all it fucking is. Weekends are for added flavors if anything. But no…stupid hipsters had to come along and jack up the price with their “organic” crap. All you fools did is jack up prices because you are suckers and then ruined it for the rest of us because when you came here you disrespected every established coffee shop that was here before you even knew what Brooklyn much less the city was. You assclowns roll your eyes at REAL New Yorkers and REAL places that for decades made New York great. Congratulations you assclowns you have helped destroy New York.
I am public employee who works in Williamsburg, and I do enjoy and appreciate a good cup of coffee… or 3. Good beans, ground right, and brewed correctly. There is also nothing quite like a solid shot of espresso, especially after a meal. I can even understand cappucino’s and latte’s. Not something I like, but if it’s for you, go for it. But for me, that is where it ends. If a coffee drink takes more than 1 minute to make, there is something drastically wrong. The issue I have with the 15 minute cup of $10 coffee, is that the coffee itself is ready in under a minute, the rest of that time is spent of the frill. Add in that there is a national tournament is mind blowing. It’s bougie, pretentious, and utterly ridiculous. There was a comment about telling your bartender that they are taking too long, and the same comments go for any bartender who spends that kind of time to mix a drink. If you’re taking 15 minutes to mix a cocktail, you’re taking way to long. I like when a bartender gives me a shamrock in my Guinness, takes all of 5 seconds, but I don’t need the Mona Lisa.
As a public employee, when I walk into some of these coffee houses in uniform, in search of a good cup of joe to enjoy, I greet them with a smile and a “hey, how’s it going?”. More often than not, the greeting is returned by a forced smile, and a begrudging “what can I get you?”. Most customers look at me like I was Adolph Hitler re-incarnate. Does it piss me off? Absolutely. But instead of flying off the handle, I take my coffee, add my own cream, say “thanks, have a good one.”, and I’m gone.
I work VERY hard for a living, and to walk into a coffee shop and have a Mike Jone-esqe, mid 20′s, smug, pompous, pretentious “individual” look down their nose at me for giving him/her my business is enough to piss anyone off. I don’t hate Mike Jones personally, I’ve never met him. But I do hate the Mike Jones archetype. I see the “artisinal” insanity as a desperate, and sad attempt at validation. There is absolutely nothing wrong in taking pride in your job, believe me, I do too. That is a very positive trait to have. But don’t go blowing smoke up my ass and making it seem like you’re in any way better than anybody else because you consider yourself a “barista”.
I’ve actually never gotten any eye rolling, any sighing or any other “hipster” attitudes at any of the top shops in NYC…
Don’t understand why baristas have no respect, yet there are panty of celebrity chefs and bartenders…
Tell those guys they have no skill and that it’s just training…
Tell that to the master blender at Lagavulin or Johnny Walker
No, it’s not skill a chef or master blender is a real career. making coffee is a menial food service job. You can pretend it’s a career, but I don’t think the loan officer at the bank is going to agree when you try and apply for a mortgage. I can declare myself “Chief Toymaker to the King” but that is not gonna put any comma’s in my salary. Shit, even cupcake makers and hair stylists have multiple TV shows. When does “Real Baristas of Williamsburg” start on the Food Network? Nitwit. Do you think Mike Jone’s parents are proud of where their son has ended up? Do you think this guy wanted to do this as a child? He is an unskilled hipster with no direction in life who ended up in a job that any self respecting undocumented immigrant would happily claw their way out of on the road to a better life. The fact that the guy seems proud of his place in life is sad. Can you imagine what it would feel like if someone from his hometown high school showed up and he had to make coffee for him? Sure, people get stuck in dead end jobs, but if it were me I’d be damn sure I worked my ass off at night school to get the hell out.
and BTW……………….Johnny Walker blows ass
Dude you got too much fuckin’ time on your hands. Get a fuckin’ life you heartless monster. Trolling websites is not a cool pass-time.
Judgmental dick.
Pablo
“Heartless Monster”? really? Comparing hipsters to oppressed Irish Immigrants? You folks take yourself way to seriously. Guess you are still reliving having been smacked around in school, having your inhaler taken way, having your lunch money taken away, being stuffed in lockers, being picked last for everything, being inept at every physical activity, having a stupid-ass low level hipster job like urban bee-keeper or are you just “funemployed”? you thought just could you grow a beard and we would treat you like a man? Might want to get your face out of the sofa cushion and realize you are the same twizzler armed dweeb that you always were and real men are always going to treat you like the wimpish child you always were.
Substitute “barista” for “Williamson”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HURJNd0J4U
Who’s passing judgement shitstain? Every comment you don’t like disapeers. Spludge started this. You want to comment on out website come over and have your say. But to sit hear and snip, and then sensor comments……well as you say “Thats not cool”. Thats the problem with you hipsters. You think you are the judge of whats cool. Well guess what? You are not. You are emaciated fools who just to to do anything so people will. Look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Maybe you’ll think twice before playing with the big boys coward
“someone with skill” Skill my ass. The guy has training, not skill. Read the guys bio, he fell into this because he liked making coffee for his friends. Baristas have no particular skill, they are trained to do a food service job. Just like people flipping burgers. Five guys serves up a mean burger, but there are plenty of people trained to do it, no particular skill, just training. Trig Palin could be trained to make enough coffee but even his family probably has too much dignity to let him settle on being a coffee maker. You call it skill because you are trying to justify pissing away $10 on a cup of crushed beans. There is another story about bean. Jack and the beanstalk. But that is also a myth, just like the one that $10 is a fair pricee for a cup of coffee. You are getting ripped off every day and your stupidity allows aswipes like this one to remain in the city instead of being sent back to Dogfeltcher Falls whre they belong. STOP FEEDING THE HIPSTERS!
fuck every yup and hipster in nyc. if you happen to be from out of of town there is a great chance i am talking about you
“We’ve been collectively ridiculing others for their physical appearance since the dawn of this very nation. Their comments remind us of “We Hate Irishmen”, an informal news magazine published in New York’s 5 Points neighborhood in the mid-19th century. ”
Really? You need to be rolled up in a carpet and trampled by horses for this remark. The pretentious meter just pegged out and caught fire solely due to that very sentence. Irish immigrants didn’t show up to play kick ball, go to shows, have flash mobs,and make “art” that is otherwise typically found in Sunday school classes. The worked, as in back-breaking, unsafe often life-threatening labor. Can you even comprehend that concept? Do you know what it feels like to have the skin of your hands cracking from exposure to portland cement? Do you know what if feels like to go home after 12-16 hours of hard labor until your entire body is in pain? The immigrants knew, their children and their women knew. You apparently do not.
You are not artists, you are not leftists, you are not deep, or interesting, or useful. Spend as much as you like buying “vintage” clothes but everyone knows you are the idle children of the idle class. You are the angsty Tea Party.
“angsty Tea Party” on a coffee website, awesome!
Its really not about making fun of others for their “differences” I think, although he goes overboard, diehipster has more of a problem with people under the guise of difference. I.e. fedora thick rimmed sunglasses sleeve tattoos etc… its become a schtick, and it is absent of real character. That said, they’re are exceptions to every rule
you realize that your comment above is so wishy-washy that nobody understands what you are talking about. Typical hipster namby-pamby bullshit. Say what you will about Diehipster. Words are not minced. Maybe your wrists are too limp to type the words your really mean? You got stuffed in lockers a lot didn’t you?
Sickening. Don’t we have better things to do with our time than waste it by tearing people down. Mike is a great guy. His job is about more than just making good coffee. I know you all are way too closed minded to listen to how or understand why.
Seriously, people… if you haven’t got the time to wait for good coffee, and $10 is so precious that you can’t crack it for something of value made by someone with skill, you need to stop wasting your time typing about how lame a barista job is, because you’re job doesn’t sound much more desirable. Put your iPhones up kids, and do something to help society. Lame.
Nobody ever said a barista job was lame until you fedora tatooed thick eyeglass adderall popping ironic shirt wearing, little sister skinny jean coffee nazis started demanding attention for MAKING COFFEE. You’re the ones who started calling a cup of coffee a “coffee creation”, you’re the ones who brought in all the pretention, the sighing, eye rolling and preening whenever a customer comes in for coffee and asks you to DO YOUR JOB. Then you shake a tip jar in our faces for the “privilege” of your coffee art. As if the $10 we’re paying wasn’t enough.
It’s coffee, not neurosurgery.
“Mike is a great guy. His job is about more than just making good coffee.” Yeah, Mike gets to wash the dishes too! Great job.
Once again, the old leftist loon hipster trick of deeming what they consider something of ‘value’ such as a $10 cup of coffee as being the standard by which the values and apparently intelligence and morals every other individual are held.
Therefore, if you do not consider spending $10 on a cup of coffee made by a ‘special’ person, then you are deemed as some kind of valueless subhuman of low intellect and with no morals.
If you are so incredibly STUPID to pay $10 for a cup of coffee, you deserve everything coming your way.
Something of value? Are you kidding me? Wow. Your parents really did waste their money sending you to college. You obviously don’t know what value is. Because a cup of artsy shit used coffee is really a something you can re-sell or trade. Value. Come to think of it, you hipsters would piss in a jar and try to re-sell it for $15 because it was “art”.
$10 for a cup of coffee? To someone like me, $10 is a meal or two. Knowing you assholes spend that kind of money on a cup of coffee makes me feel a lot better about mugging you skinny bearded fucks from time to time.
We are talking about the coffee grinder right ?!?!?
hey “brooklyncoffeeslut,” what’s with the honest endorsement of the articles headline? wheres the anonymous, thinly veiled self hatred and insecurity in that? huh?
Sorry, it stems from being raised in the crap holes of Brooklyn =x
Plus, I love everyone is willing to bully hipsters, but when is someone going to have the balls to stand up to “gangstas”?
So I’m guessing to you guys consider McDonalds, Applebees, Fridays, gourmet then? Enjoy eating and drinking swill, I’ll have continue visiting “hipster” shops, thank you very much.
Same guys who call these shops over priced and more than willing to shell out the same or more $$$ for Starbucks, for a crappier drink. Hope the extra minute you save waiting there is worth it…::rollseyes @ the dumb.caffeine addicts who can’t tell sh*t from their ass
Go tell your favorite bartender to shut up, hurry up and pour you a drink faster
wrong again hipster. I like good food and fine resteraunts. Difference is it is clearly fine food. $10 coffee is not worth it, a good resteraunt meal is. You know what the other difference is Josh? Ever hear the expression that the best waiter is the one that you don’t know is there? ass wipe hipsters can’t do that! You always have to know they are there. They are always calling attention to them selves like q-tip armed Mike here. He can’t stay in the background and do his job. It has to be Look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!.
I want to bash your skull in but it is not because you are gay (who I have no issues with). It is because you have come to my city, made the rents high and generally polluted it with your presence. Budget cuts will reach the police force sooner or later, when that happens expect to see a rise in hipster beatings.
To all baristas reading this post:
I feel your pain. Yours is a grueling, tedious profession. Pulling levers all day, checking temperatures, dealing with irate customers who do not understand that a perfectly crafted beverage takes time.
All that steam, heat and noise – all to make a consisently fine cup of coffee
It’s a hard, thankless and repetitive job.
The sort of job perfectly suited for robots.
hairnets are necessary by health code not hats. Fedora’s are a dumb-ass hipster choice. As to dressing like hobos…….for gods sake they all dress like hobos. Take a quick stroll through northern Brooklyn. either they are dressed in skinny jeans, flannel shirrs, ironic t shits and fedoras or they look like the Wright bothers at Kitty Hawk with their “olde tyme” facial hair and shipping out to the civil war outfits. You all want to be so unique but I can spot you 2 blocks away. Now run off to your kickball game or I’ll smack you and take your inhaler away just like the big kids did in school.
1st off, hats are a necessary health code- not a fashion choice. Secondly, what exactly do you want? your barista to wear a suit? dress like a hobo? what has he done wrong? It seems like every yuppie with no taste started using the word hipster to describe anyone under 40 who is not an investment banker once the NYT started using it.
http://jimseven.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/WindowsLiveWriter/SCAEUKNorthernBaristaJam_5EC/Simon%20talks%20about%20milk%5B6%5D.jpg
Now shut the fuck up, you generic try-hard poseur no-skilled hipster.
COOOOOOOKIE!
‘All in all, DieHipster.Wordpress.com and its learned, reasonable cadre of readers are merely actors in an on-going urban culture play with deep roots in the American experience. Their comments remind us of “We Hate Irishmen”’
Really? Your infestation and whitewashing all the working class families out of their homes and neighborhoods remind me of actors in an on-going urban culture play with deep roots in the European experience of Manifest Destiny.
matt jones looks like that other dip shit matt lang from feta sau. OMG tattoos!!! like whoa hardcore barista.
WYKOP KURWA hipsters are ok man kurwa
Why do hipsters insist on blogging about everything? The most mundane jobs like raising chickens, growing basil, and making coffee, are the subject of newsletters, websites, and social gatherings.
The reason for such disgusting self promotion is simple; growing up they were told “you can be anything you desire.” Sadly, parents are often wrong, You can’t be anything you desire. Yet in a vain attempt to elevate their pedestrian careers into the realm of celebrity, they put unnecessary time and “creativity” into their work. The result: over priced coffee.
I know, that crazy chicken lady is everywhere. So you raise chickens? Whats the big deal. Whoooooaaaa, you raise chickens in Brooklyn! Look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I ride the subway with no pants, Look at MEEEEEEEEEE. I’m an urban beekeeper Look at MEEEEEEEEEEE! I served a meal on the L train, look at MEEEEEEEEE! I created real art…..no, you did not. There is no great hipster art except what a barista carves in the foam of your coffee. Look at MEEEEEEEEEEE!
Man I hate beanbugs.
@Tard……most accurate post on this thread: “Hipsters, Douchebags… trying to see the difference…”
Wow! For a website that allows stumpytown to advertise their overpriced swill, you sure have your pretty pink manpanties in a bunch. Your credibility just took a nosedive off that papier-mache condo you call home. Another bullshit website devoted to “Drip”. Hey, I get it! You guys invented this stuff. Ethiopia? Never heard of it, huh. It’s never just “coffee” to you whimsical, tattooed assholes. One question sprudge.com. Do you believe in magic, Bro?
To really get this blog entry, read aloud with a nasal kazoo whiny urban tourguide voice.
Since the author’s name is “Llewellyn Sinclair”, throw in a little bit of a homo lisp for good measure.
Hipsters, Douchebags… trying to see the difference…
Can and do and the quality is fine. No, I don’t have the time. I have to get to WORK because I have a real JOB! Why should I pay $5 bucks for this emaciated Mr Salty clone to take 15 minutes to put rhubarb in my coffee? What did I do to deserve rhubarb in my coffee? Mike and this entire free range, fair trade, organic, artisinal over priced sludge game is just the newest version of the emperors new cloths. In a few years you will feel as foolish as you look now
First lets dispense with the “Barista Championships”. The only baristas in the composition were employees of advertisers on the site advertising the “championship”. There was no individual evaluation of talent, if you advertised on the site, you got to be in the championship. It’s kind of like Who’s Who. You buy you way in and then pretend you are somebody. Probably a good investment for his employee, but certainly not a critical evaluation of all the baristas in the Northeast.
As for the hipster in question. What is with the hat? How does wearing the same fedora that every other hipster is wearing add to the quality of my coffee? He is wearing the glasses and the hat and the tattoos that scream Look at MEEEEEEEEE! I make coffee! Well so do I, every morning, and I do it without a hat. Is this really a proper job for a 25 year old? Is $5 dollars a cup really a fair price for a cup of coffee? What is this guy going to be doing in 10 or 20 years? There are plenty of people that hate hipster, myself included. They are generally non-working parasites from out of town that are constantly looking for a way to scam the system so they can live in a city they really can’t afford. Houseboats on the Gowanus Canal? Trailer parks inside of buildings? These things are dangerous firetraps. I don’t need some brave firefighter dying trying to save a hipster who violated fire codes so he could live in a place he really could not afford. And then we have the claim of Brooklyn being an “artisit” conclave. Please show me the great art or music that has been created in this crucible of fine art? It doesn’t exist. These are a bunch of transplants that think if they create the appearance of a poor artist colony they will become artist. Sure, they want to appear as poor artists, but they all have iPhones that cost $1,000 dollars a year. In general hipsters are lazy, spoiled products of the self esteem generation that have been taught that a 7th place soccer trophy is some sort of validation of their greatness. It is not. It is validation of 7th best. They take much and add nothing to the life of my city. Locust
1. The Hat.
If he wants to be a real barista and make great coffee, he needs a beaver hat. Like he’s in the Yukon in December. Plenty of manky fur to hold plenty of bedbugs to sprinkle in your coffee for 15 minutes so you can pay $15 a cup.
2 Poor Artists.
One day they will all be poor artists. Trust fund run out, no useful skills and wandering the streets hungry and cold. Then they will experience a real URBN lifestyle as the lowly savages beat them to pulp with Louisville Sluggers. Believe me, when you’re hungry and cold, you won’t even care what you did when you were younger, what styles you wore or what chicks (or dudes) you scored with. You will be worrying where your next meal is coming from and where you are going to sleep without getting more teeth knocked out.
Hi, My name is Steve Lam. I have been defending hipsters since even before that hater site diehipster was born.
Hipsters are a bunch of young people just having fun. We define our individuality by our choice in fashions and we create our personal memes. Fashion defines the individual and inside every hipster is an individual. Why can’t the haters see this. Instead these homophobic meatheads like hipsterminator, texas triffid ranch, pat i, parkslope yuppy toilet, rob and others who obviously get no sex, keep posting hate. I bet they don’t even know the difference between Abercrombie and Hollister.
I have a much more fulfilling social live than all the haters put together. I get lots of sex from my neutered female pet bunny. I played in more shitty bands than they ever will and have slept with more boys (though I’m really not gay) than they did girls.
I’m 33, going on 13, both mentally and physically and I live in a basement loft in Downtown Toronto because I suck off a rich old gay guy who supports the local chapter of NAMBLA. I don’t need my parents for support. I also take estrogen every night and will soon be able to afford to get my pee-pee chopped off.
I have more personality than all the haters put together. Look up Trey Parasucko, Keen Koala, Matthew Gasaway and many others. Look us (me) up sometime.
Rembember, girls dig metrosexual guys like me, not homophobic meatheads like on Jersey Shore.
Love Stevie.
Oh dear. Comparing the hipsters to persecuted immigrant populations in the 19th century? The pretension is killing me.
I know!!! ha ha ha
Well said.
This. What a poorly conceived analogy.
P.S
I had the privilege of meeting mike briefly in Chicago, and I only have this to say, Mike is a hottie with a naught body. A great pick for a hunk shot or a boyskittencoffee post
Hey Stevie,
Does this mean we will see half-naked pictures of him on your photo blog? Just don’t make Lurch jealous. She’d hate to think someone else has to share your 1 1/2″ dick.
I know that website is a joke but it seems malicious that they would use someones real name and the place they work. Especially considering that they have a section called, Hipster beating. I do find it amusing how people with no understanding of something, who feel intimidated by the people doing that thing, always choose to shit on it then try and learn about it. Also, where do people get the time to write a blog like that. Tasteless.
Hey Stevie,
He gave his name and workplace to a magazine/public blog already. There’s nothing you, he or anyone else can do about it.
Free Speech – First Amendement – ever heard of it???
Butthurt much already?
Understanding of what exactly? -A bunch of pretentious rich kids pretending to be starving artists who can’t even see the IRONY in how close-minded and elite-est they are (ie; they look down on EVERYONE not as “cool” as themselves.)
Outsiders, (everyone who is NOT a Hipster,) are shunned and ignored by the Hipsters, so there is no “trying to understand them…”
They don’t want to share anything about themselves to common-folk (ie; NOT rich,) because then they wouldn’t be “COOL.”
Hipsters are adults who try to look and act like people who have been born with developmental disabilities. It’s an insult to people with real disabilities. Talk about tasteless.
I want to knock your teeth out of your stupid goddamn mouth and smack your kidneys with a baseball bat. Is your real name Alex Pond?
Confusingest comment thread ever.
So you’re saying it’s not German for “The Hipster”?
Germans are suffering under their own hipster infestation, probably all goose stepping to the same lame minimal electro beat while thinking of themselves as uberindividuals. Hipster are the same all over the world. In fact, there’s a German diehipster-like blog who has an entry about pretentious hipster coffee culture in Berlin: http://www.ichwerdeeinberliner.com/6-cafes
I find it all very funny…all things considered. If you dish it you must recieve it. all this visciousness comes with internet territory. Fact is, you highlighted something you could have simply marginalized.
You can get a really fast cup of coffee at the deli next to the coffee shop. If you don’t care about quality and don’t have the time, do something about it instead of misdirecting your anger and frustration at a Barista who was hired to make better beverages.
A “better” beverage?? If you equate jacked up prices with quality, I suppose the fact that you just paid $10 for a cup of coffee might make you believe it’s “better”. Some people are very easily led.
I have vintage aged Folgers Crystals in special blend of Sanka and Coffee Mate in a French press for $15. I’m sure you’ll think it’s great because it’s $15.
I just want to know where this damn trust fund is that everyone keeps talking about!? Where is it hiding!?! Is it like a prize? BRING ME THE TRUST MONIES I HAVE EARNED AND DESERVE, INTERNET!!
One question Mike. Yes or no. Are you a hipster?
Only a Hipster doesn’t answer THAT question…
You suck, Mike. I want to stomp your face in
Destructive stuffs.
You people don’t understand…us mothers, we’re just waiting for our brilliant little boys to get over this coffee “fad” and finally put that degree to work. My son, Joshua, was the brightest boy in his 4th grade class, and I had all the math teachers telling me “he’ll go far, Bonnie. You should be so proud”. And I was! To this day, when I walk my prized Yorkie with my Investment Club gal pals, I tell them, I say, “my Joshua was the brightest boy in his 4th grade class…”
So what if he’s a barista? He went to Rutgers. He’s got his degree. He just needs to work out his…issues. He’s confused. Frankly, my husband and myself can’t tell if he’s heads or tails, or with boys or girls, or what on earth he’s doing with this new lifestyle of his. But we were young once, oh yes. I took a smoke down Bleeker Street, I saw Simon and Garfunkle at Stoney Brook, and I used to work at at a roadside bar. You should have seen how many class rings I was offered. I was really something.
YOUR SON SOUNS LIKE A TOTAL FRUIT, BONNY!
We know.
Mike is a great guy. It saddens me to see such despicable Internet fodder.
Yes, he definitely is despicable internet fodder.
You might try and find out the meaning of words before incorrectly using them.
You and Mike should GTFO. Also, I would like to see you bleeding, crying and writhing in pain after having been stomped out by a real Brooklanite
This sickens me to the core.
To the core of..?
…coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
mebbe they should stopp playing there records so much and start paying attenchion to what matters like mabey making my drink fast??? hello im not their to hang out im their to get some caffine and get out of their fast so i can work at my REAL JOB.
dude right? i mean, sometimes i wait like 15 minutes for my drink. and that’s like when it’s not even busy! to much time spending on “perfection” and i’m like worried about my parking meter! i dont want another $50 ticket because the “” barista” was doing his ” art”.
CAN I GET AN AMEN?
A-MEN!
HALLELUJAH!
hallelu jah ! [Bob reference (Jah Live!)]
this has never happened to you. you made this up. stop lying, you look dumb. you dumb guy, you.
How about you learn to spell and then go to Dunkin’ Donuts for your caffine! Mebbe?!?!?!
can’t spell and since I am typing this on the latest hipster trendy manual typewriter I would have to buy White Out to correct it. and it’s a bitch carrying a typewriter around on my fixie bike. Sorry, have to run off to my artisinal puppet show
it’s spelled caffeine, dipshit.
I was obviously paraphrasing the above dipshit with the “REAL JOB” You must be stuck in the cubicle next to them… or in a corner office staring at a brick wall. Mebbe???!?
Oh, i get it. You were trying to be ironic. What a surprise.
I HATE HIPSTERS!
me to. they are like to cool in there skinny jeans and im like “saury im not cool enough for youre cool kids club”. please! give me some *normal* people to talk to and leave the cool kids club at the hipster coffee houses. no thank-you!
hahahahahahaha! can i “super like” you’r comment?
Mike Jones is a nice guy who passionately but humbly enjoys serving coffee. God forbid that he enjoys his job, and doesn’t take life too seriously. Thanks to Sprudge for sticking up for a guy worth sticking up for.
here here!
Trying to get him into the sack now Stevie???
Mike Jones should be punched until he decides to leave New York and go serve coffee in his hometown.
What a fucking joke!!! Now, pour my coffee you worthless hipster douche.