“Starbucks on 93 and B’Way. Uptight Queen barista named JAY has an attitude problem,”
Listen up, queen. Only two kinds of people can say “queen” and get away with it: strong, beautiful drag queens and savvy homosexual bloggers (and occasionally Tyra Banks). We agree to take back your Schmuck of the Week shit crown if you agree to work Jay’s next busy bar shift. The weird orders, the triple pumps, the extra whips, the double cups: you shall graciously bend over backwards with aplomb, lest some jerk on Twitter with over a million followers call you out by name. Until all that goes down, you’re officially our Sprudge.com Coffee Schmuck of the Week (Emeritus Grade).