Introducing The “Most Annoying Coffee Order Ever” Generator – Version 1.0

 
By 26 December 2013
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December 26th-31th, Sprudge.com is revisiting some of our favorite stories from the very exciting past year in coffee. Enjoy!

After years of exhaustive research, the team at Sprudge Labs have built the Most Annoying Coffee Order Ever generator. This generator is finally out of months of beta testing and officially released under version 1.0. Help us build an even bigger generator by sounding off in the comments below.

Behold! The “Most Annoying Coffee Order Ever” Generator: 

Are you listening? I said I want the triple doppio frenchest roast cappuccino with an add protein shot with caramel drizzles on the bottom of the cup

order-another

 
  • Alicia says:

    My all time favorite is the SALTED CARAMEL WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA. Since they no longer have the salt topping it has been hell to get a similar drink. A barista told me I could also order it as a WHITE MOCHA WITH TOFEE NUT SYRUP & CARAMEL DRIZZLE. The problem is that costs almost a dollar more for the same drink ordered a different way! Help! I like what I like but it is so frustrating as 40% of the time my drink is wrong & I have to turn around and sit through the horribly lo g drive-thru line all over again! Any advice on how I can get the salted caramel white mocha taste without them having the salt topping now? Thanks! Email me please! As I will probably not remember to check back for replies! astollett@gmail.com

    Reply
  • Alicia says:

    My brother-in-law ordered a “TALL, HOT, BLONDE” the other day, it was so funny & just like him to come up with something off the wall like that!

    Reply
  • Heather says:

    I once had a customer who was a regular who got the same drink or “drinks” every day. It HAD to be done precisely and in the right order, and only under her close supervision.
    1) 8 oz. cup of hot water, 3/4 full
    2) macchiato:
    -split shot
    -semi-dry
    -soy
    -kid’s temp
    – poured for 6 seconds, but only counting fast out loud, so more like 4
    seconds (I swear to god…)
    3) 12 oz. cup of ice-cold water with no ice (she was under the impression that she was allergic to ice….)

    F.M.L.

    Reply
  • Blazej says:

    It was 2005 in Edinburgh in Chocotalte Soup Coffee Bar. A man from Texas USA came to a bar, looked at a menu and said:
    ” aaaa … uuu … mmmm … aaa … yyy … eeee … yeah … mmm … eeeee … raight … eee … mmm … aaa …. double espresso with mashmellow topping please and dont forget to give me a spoon boy” with a great smile on his face :) It was hilarious and this guy made my day :)

    Reply
  • duneymag says:

    20oz 4 shots 1/3 decaf decaf non fat no foam soy breve cappuccino with three pumps of sugar free vanilla and two pumps chocolate with four sweet and lows and extra whipcream

    Reply
  • Shea M. says:

    “Rice milk cappuccino.”

    “220 degree no foam soy cappuccino.”

    These are funny, and ACTUAL orders I have received!

    Oh, and this…

    “I want a white drink with coffee in it. Blended. A vanilla!”

    Reply
  • Mark says:

    Today I had a lady try to order a double iced vanilla latte to-go with extra foam. When I tried to explain to her that her drink wouldn’t be steamed, so there wouldn’t be any foam, she said “yeah, but can I just have a little on the side?”

    Reply
  • jacob says:

    Spot-on. “I’m gonna do…” and “Gimmie…” So irritating.

    Reply
  • I’ll take your tallest vanilla coffee. Then the 20 questions start

    Reply
  • nameLaura H says:

    Order chai, and say chia-
    Order a grande anything call it grand A

    Reply
  • Laura H says:

    Mine are those that start with, “I don’t know if you can make this, but I usually go to Starbucks. Sorry!” really? International certified barista, but because we live in a small town, they don’t get it. AND, only coffeehouse in a 30 mike radius for 13 yrs, and the person that says it to us doesn’t frequent us, so….

    Reply
  • Servelan says:

    Pemco Insurance of Seattle has a commercial about ‘too long coffee order guy’ as one of the local ‘types’ they cover, and here’s the order:

    “Make mine a triple venti grande Americano chai vanilla minty mochachino caramel macchiato, half-caf, half-decaf, one Equal, one Sweet’N'Low, one raw sugar, skinny organic extra virgin olive oil soy breve with no foam, extra whip, extra hot and — oh, yes, leave off the top so I can add my own sprinkles.”

    Reply
  • Bitter says:

    what about those half caff, non-fat, extra hot, half sweet vanilla lattes…..

    or any non-fat decaf milk drinks….

    Reply
  • FoxConfessor says:

    So is the “free trade” order intentional, or did you mean for it to be “fair trade”?

    Reply
  • mykey coffee says:

    That’s hilarious, but I think you spelled expresso wrong

    Reply
  • Rapolas says:

    How about an extra large, extra hot, extra dry triple decaf, soy mocha.
    The most ridiculous drink I ever made.

    Reply
  • john says:

    isn’t this just bitter barista but coming from sprudge??

    Reply
  • Josh says:

    I once poured a heart or something on top of a ladies drink. When her boyfriend saw it he came up to me and ask for “no design”. I told him its just the way you pour the milk and he was very adamant. “No design !” His girlfriend said he was too manly for designs. Worst order ever!

    Reply
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