Schmuck of the Week
Coffee Schmuck of the Week: Charles Custer’s Last Stand
A tale of unbelievable schmuckery comes to us today from the shores of Tampa Bay. Congratulations, Charles Custer, you’re Sprudge.com’s Coffee Schmuck of the Week! Robbing banks by scalding the teller with piping hot AM/PM re-brew? Tres schmuck. Read all about how Charles has…
Schmuck Of The Week: Brute Brandishes Brew At Baltimore Banks
Police are seeking an unidentified schmuck in the Baltimore area, in a coffee-assault story that reads like a sub-subplot from The Wire: Police are trying to identify a man who has robbed several businesses, including incidents in which he…
Coffee Schmuck of the Week: The Biggest Jerk In Eastern Washington
From eastern side of Washington State, the South of the Northwest, we bring you this sad tale of incongruous disappointment, transient frustration, and car-bumper jumping. Ahh, the Tri-Cities… where Blue Collar America meets Frasier Crane (to give him a…
Coffee Schmuck Of The Week: Dance Music Schmucks Romance
In our hearts, the Minneapolis neighborhood of Uptown is Prince’s candy-colored cornucopia Paisley Park of freedom, self-expression, and ice cool multi-ethnic omnisexual synth funk. It’s a place where you can “set your mind free”, and where the perogative, be…
Coffee Schmuck Of The Week: We’ve Heard of Naked Portafilters, But This Is Ridiculous
Schmuck of the Week is proud to introduce you to Brandon Lee Jackson. This 29-year-old piece of work came to our attention strutting around Eugene, Oregon naked as a jay bird, jabbering to himself and making obscene gestures, before…
Coffee Schmuck Of The Week: Meet Daniel J. Watts, Oxy-Moron
Some people like to put cream and sugar in their coffee. Other people… A West Virginia man left unattended in a patrol car tried to pull a fast one when he slipped 80 oxycontin pills into an Ohio Highway…
Coffee Schmuck of the Week: Ajax Of All Trades, or, Throw Mama From The Drano
Jesse Vasquez Meet Jessie Vasquz, the man who took Dark Roast to a dark place. Police say on Sunday morning, Vasquez walked into Dallas Fire Station #752 and told one of the firefighters, “I just put poison in my mother’s…
Coffee Schmuck of the Week: Caregiver Cynthia Cardenas Accused of Grand Theft Automatic Drip
A shocking case of Mr. Coffee embezzlement from Central Florida: The Volusia County Sheriff’s Office said the victim hired Cynthia Cardenas, 44, to help around the house, but fired her after a week because she was doing a poor…
Coffee Schmuck of the Week: Man Robs Bank Using Garfield Mug
Andrew Taylor walked into his local PNC Bank and walked out with $5,000, using only his “wits” and a purple Garfield mug. Bank robbers don’t normally hang around the bank lobby for 15 minutes. They also don’t tend to…
Coffee Schmuck of the Week: One Lump Of Poison or Two?
Sad, strange news out of Boston, as a substitute shop teacher Chad Wunschel admitted to police that he poisoned his own coffee with graffiti remover to get attention after breaking up with his girlfriend. Though we here at Sprudge.com…
