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Perhaps our most fascinating Schmuck of the Week.

Our ever-popular feature returns with tales of Montana meth!

America scalds on Dunkin'.

More like "Schmuckers."

Like an outtake from “Super Troopers” gone horribly wrong, here’s the real life story of Christopher Hildreth, former “barista” at a Dunkin’ Donuts franchise in Jaffrey, New Hampshire. Mr. Hildreth is accused of depositing “nasal mucus” into the coffee…

An epic story of speeding, striking, stalking and schmucking from The South Oregon Mail Tribune: A serial coffee-stand stalker was arrested on various charges Saturday night after he led police on a brief car chase in northeast Medford and…

When Julia Greenhill decided to visit her local Caribou Coffee outlet in Atlanta, Georgia, how could she possibly have known that her life would be changed forever? Little did she know that her choice of coffee shop would put…

What’s worse than robbing a coffee shop? Robbing a coffee shop you used to work in! Meet Vivian Hutchinson, formerly of The Village Coffee on Freret Street in beautiful New Orleans, Louisiana. Her schmucky story comes to us from…

Meet Christopher Watson, whose epic ballad of thievery, schmuckery, and coffee commerce comes to us from Jackson, Mississippi: The first thing Christopher Watson bought after he allegedly robbed a Jackson bank was a cup of coffee. Congratulations, dear Watson,…

A tale of unbelievable schmuckery comes to us today from the shores of Tampa Bay. Congratulations, Charles Custer, you’re Sprudge.com’s Coffee Schmuck of the Week! Robbing banks by scalding the teller with piping hot AM/PM re-brew? Tres schmuck. Read all about how Charles has…

Police are seeking an unidentified schmuck in the Baltimore area, in a coffee-assault story that reads like a sub-subplot from The Wire: Police are trying to identify a man who has robbed several businesses, including incidents in which he…

From eastern side of Washington State, the South of the Northwest, we bring you this sad tale of incongruous disappointment, transient frustration, and car-bumper jumping. Ahh, the Tri-Cities… where Blue Collar America meets Frasier Crane (to give him a…

In our hearts, the Minneapolis neighborhood of Uptown is Prince’s candy-colored cornucopia Paisley Park of freedom, self-expression, and ice cool multi-ethnic omnisexual synth funk. It’s a place where you can “set your mind free”, and where the perogative, be…

Schmuck of the Week is proud to introduce you to Brandon Lee Jackson. This 29-year-old piece of work came to our attention strutting around Eugene, Oregon naked as a jay bird, jabbering to himself and making obscene gestures, before…

Some people like to put cream and sugar in their coffee. Other people… A West Virginia man left unattended in a patrol car tried to pull a fast one when he slipped 80 oxycontin pills into an Ohio Highway…

Jesse Vasquez Meet Jessie Vasquz, the man who took Dark Roast to a dark place. Police say on Sunday morning, Vasquez walked into Dallas Fire Station #752 and told one of the firefighters, “I just put poison in my mother’s…