Sprudge.com

Back to School @sprudge

Welcome! Sit down!

SIT DOWN!

Here at William J. Sprudge Junior High, we hope you’ve had a productive summer. You may notice a few changes going on around you; Junior High is a funny time like that. All we ask is for your attention, your respect, and your ability to follow our class schedule as offered each and every day. We hope we’ll be able to provide an education at least somewhat stimulating enough to distract you from what’s happening in your strange little embryonic personal lives.

A few ground rules: no PDA, no chewing gum, and no passing notes. Wait, do kids even do that anymore? Back in our day, we lived and died by the notes we handed off and received during the 5 minutes between classes…well, anyway, no texting or e-mailing in class, or we’ll confiscate your iPhone and call your parents, or read your text messages out loud in front of the class, or whatever public shaming disciplinary action teachers are using these days.

We expect a lot from you this week, kids. Good thing the state hasn’t banned that triple strawberry mochachino cart out in the cafeteria. It really seems to help you kids focus. Pay close attention to the classwork that appears on this site over the next few days. There could be a test at any time. And I’ll only say this once: you kids are old enough now to know that monkey business, horseplay, or tomfoolery of any sort will not be tolerated at any time. Your permanent records begin today, and even the slightest blemish will result in personal and professional catastrophe in the not-too-distant future. You don’t want to end up attending a state college and writing a blog for a living, do you?

Well, do you?