Another Coffee Guide For Zooey Deschanel: PDX!

Another Coffee Guide For Zooey Deschanel: PDX!

Zooey Deschanel! We know you’re super busy, and especially like, this last month with hosting SNL and stuff, but it’s been just over four weeks since you dropped this amazing tweet:

We know exactly what you mean! We love to drink coffee too, but we hate it when people get all judgy about it. So about a month ago we sprang to action, and wrote you this amazing coffee vacation guide for New York City. We thought it was just perfect for your coffee vacation dreams, and we won’t stop at just one.

So maybe we shot too high with our first tour package for you. I mean, New York, it’s cool, but you’re probably only really there for work stuff these days. NBD – we know just the place to suggest next. You should totally go to Portland! Portland is mellow, Portland has awesome food, Portland has cute craft fairs and DIY shopping stuff, and most of all, Portland has awesome cafes and hot roasters. So pack up those sun dresses and a real cute umbrella, Zooey – your first class direct flight from LAX to PDX is boarding, and it’s time get some coffee!

First off, you’ll need a place to stay. The Kennedy School – it’s this quirky project where they totally restored this old high school that was kind of all crumbling and falling apart and mildewy, but they made it look real nice, and now it’s a real hotel with four bars and a heated pool. A pool you can drink in. Also, there’s a garden for zenning out and one of the bars is called the Detention Room, because it used to actually be the detention room. Bring a handful of friends and reenact scenes from the Breakfast Club! Who will you be? You can stay at the Kennedy School for a reasonable price, and it’s close to a bunch of nice restaurants, and it’s just a little different from staying Downtown.

After your first night, splurge on brunch the next day at Beast, so you can be TOTES READY to go and drink some coffee! But first, you need a way to get around, and you’re probably wondering, “how am I supposed to get from Northeast Portland to Burnside and 22nd?” – we got you, Zooey. There’s only one way for you to get around town – rent a Vespa! The folks at Columbia Scooters will take care of you (we called, they’re cool), and you can rent an sweet scooter there for your weekend in PDX for only like $40 a day. Now all you gotta do is pick up a long, flowing scarf from a little vintage boutique. And we know just the place! Go to Rad Summer on Burnside, because that’s right down the street from the first cafe on our list! We’re like the best travel agents ever. Where’s that bottle of wine?

First up on your list you should go drink some coffee at Heart (2211 E Burnside). While you’re there you can look at the cute boys, get a great latte (or whatever it is you feel like ordering, the espresso is super good too), and dig on its Christian skateboard shop vibe – it’s like being back in high school! Also, Heart has like a pop-up cart thing downtown (1111 SW Stark Street) near all of the boutiques, right inside of a bike shop – how Portland is that?

From there, go ahead and cruise over to this cafe called Sterling (2120 Northwest Glisan Street). Sterling looks like a little closet – you just wanna pick it up and put it in your pocket, then maybe ask who did their wallpaper, because wow, it’s real cool, and would probably make a great feature on your blog. The people who work at Sterling will be dressed really nice, like going to a fancy cocktail bar. Just let them make you whatever they think is good that day – in fact, that’s just how you should say it, Zooey: “Please make me whatever you think is good today.” They’ll be super into it! And we bet you’ll like your shot of espresso, or whatever.

Next you should cruise up to North Portland. Hit up The Red E (1006 N Killingsworth Street). Don’t be scared of the mountain man guy behind the counter, he owns the place and he’s super nice. You should ask him if he wants to sneak outside for a smoke – wait, we dunno if you smoke sometimes or not, but he only smokes sometimes too, usually not, but I bet you if you asked super nicely he would totes go outside with you and maybe you can split one. Their coffee is really good! Also, the place next door has good beer.

Another spot you just can’t miss is The Fresh Pot (4001 North Mississippi Ave). It’s adorable! It used to be a Rexall’s Drug store back in like, the 50s or something, but now it’s a really nice coffee shop. Sit at the front counter, where the soda bar used to be – you can flip through the Portland Mercury, say hi to puppies and babies that come in, and totes charge your cell phone.

The last place we’ll recommend is called Coava (1300 Southeast Grand Ave), a cute little cafe and roastery tucked inside of a bamboo workshop. The space looks like some kind of sweet progressive nightclub or something, but everything is bathed in natural light that reflects off the bamboo trim. Maybe you would want to just stay and hang out here? Ask them to make you a pour over from their reusable Kone filter. Delicious.

After allllll that coffee, it’s time to get something to eat. Are you still vegetarian? Most places in Portland have really great vegetarian options, and there’s one spot – Blossoming Lotus – that has been ranked as one of the best veg restaurants in the country! You should also check out Little Bird, Le Pigeon (way cool fine dining), The Woodsman Tavern (iced coffee on draught), Broder (awesome Northwest-meets-Scandinavian food), Ned Ludd (the plants and decor change with the season), and Grain and Gristle (kinda gross name, but the place is nice). If you feel like having a nice cocktail somewhere while you’re out on the town, check out Kask (great whiskey selection), Moloko Plus (aquariums), The Victory Bar (very comfy, good bourbon and ginger), Kir Wine Bar, or the Teardrop Lounge (sort of LA, but that’s ok sometimes).

View Zooey Deschanel’s Totes Not Judgy Coffee Tour: PDX OMG! in a larger map

We hope you have just the best time ever in PDX, and feel free to tweet us if you need any more info. Meanwhile, we’ll see you next month, when we publish our Totes Not Judgy Coffee Tour of London! Yay!


  1. I loved this article so much that I’m even considering it to be my bachelorette party trip! I might be the only one going, but who cares….? Coffee cares, and coffee matters! Thanks for this entertaining read! Love and COFFEE!

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