Comments on: An Open Letter To Aaron Blanco, Proprietor of Brown Coffee Company

By: Sharon

Sharon — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 22:13:47 +0000

Brown Coffee Company’s apology was a lie rooted in the fear that their true sentiments might hurt business. Based on their latest blog entry, they are emboldened by the fact that there are other bigots in the world. So… they have taken their apology down and re-assessed. Now the message is, “Intolerance sells coffee! No apology necessary.” The fact that people will come and buy merchandise in support of their rhetoric doesn’t make that rhetoric right. Theirs is a myopic worldview based in fear and dread – not Classical Wisdom. Invoking Plato, the HOMOSEXUAL’S HOMOSEXUAL in defense of anti-gay rhetoric is the most laughable and ludicrous thing of all. I hope that BCC and all like-minded people can finally just get over it. We’re here, we’re queer and we’re getting MARRIED! Get used to it. What is “natural law” for one isn’t “natural law” for everyone. People responding to intolerant rhetoric is not equal “give and take.” Expressing hateful views is not a different but equally valid position. It’s just hate. And fear. And those who give voice to the idea that this talk is wrong and should stop are not the aggressors here. They are responding to an attack. Plato said, “Any man may easily do harm, but not every man can do good to another. “

By: scooter

scooter — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 00:56:15 +0000

Apologist,
I did not bring up natural law, Aaron did. I mentioned being drunk when he posted as that is as much of a benefit of a doubt I have to offer. The content of the tweet was very clear. I don’t accept the apology, would rather he owned the tweet. I don’t believe that the tweet was sent to encourage dialogue; what other meaning can one take from it?
Once again, as a homo in the coffee biz, I do not support any form of government recognition of marriage. I do not support the tax breaks that he receives at my expense. I suppose back in the days that we required large amounts of cannon fodder, it made sense. It no longer does.
I have little respect for cowards, hiding their statements in the words of great philosophers. In my life I have had to defend myself both physically and intellectually from such bullies. You call it an act of bad judgement. I can only read it as hate. So don’t be surprised by some of the more emotional responses such a tweet may reap.

By: TinaRistretto

TinaRistretto — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 18:25:28 +0000

Really? The “he is a good person” and “this is his livelihood” arguments are inane. How on earth can you be a good person and oppose equality for your neighbor, customer, etc.? “Yeah, he’s ok. Doesn’t think black folks or latino folks should have the same rights he does, but he’s super nice and his family is very cute.” Seriously? These are not the comments of a good person. They are the comments of someone steeped in their own unearned privilege willing to speak out and make public declarations that they deserve more rights than my sister, my brother, my friends, and their customers and vendors. He need to do the work, not make a donation as some said. Keep your damn religious intolerance off the law books, off my body, and out of my bedroom. And those that know this guy and still think he is a good person . . .do us all a favor and stop writing his sick views off as just another opinion. The man is a supremacist and it’s heartbreaking.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 17:13:12 +0000

And for the record, I think LGBT should have the same rights to legal union as I (a straight man) does.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 17:08:29 +0000

Do I think that it would be the best move for Aaron to donate to a LGBT group…Yes I do…Someone demanding such or they won’t move on…that’s a different story.

At the end of the day…everyone is entitled to an opinion…and generally, everyone has the right to voice that opinion…unless that expression leads is hate speech which is defined as “In law, hate speech is any speech, gesture or conduct, writing, or display which is forbidden because it may incite violence or prejudicial action against or by a protected individual or group.”
I really don’t think that the Mr Blanco’s tweet falls into that category.

By: Hugh

Hugh — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 16:37:43 +0000

I don’t believe that asking Brown to make amends for his “misunderstood” tweet is “extortion.” However, I believe the donation should be to the Trevor Project, a national suicide hotline for LGBT youth. After all, apology or no, his original tweet will live on the internet forever. LGBT teens commit suicide at a much higher rate than their straight peers, and they do so in the face of bigotry and hatred. Blanco’s tweet could very easily be the tipping point for another gay teen suicide, for which he must be held accountable.

By: morgan

morgan — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 14:37:07 +0000

To be fair, can’t we also say that the original, offensive tweet lacked nuance? And the silence around the matter and the complete shutdown of communication assisted in fueling the twitstorm. For better or worse, 140 characters doesn’t leave space for nuance on either side, and the lack of clarification for several days, coupled with a complete retreat on Brown’s part left the door wide open for conjecture. That doesn’t excuse some of the extreme and vitriolic responses, but to meet vitriol with vitriol is hardly unexpected. It’s difficult to open a door for dialogue with someone who deletes an offensive tweet, goes into hiding and then takes a victim stance in their initial reply.

All that being said, I do think this is complicated. Many lovely and friendly people still believe that marriage equality shouldn’t happen or that same gender loving folks aren’t born that way, etc. People I trust and admire assure me that the Blanco family are great people. I can believe that and also believe that this was handled poorly (on both sides) and still distrust the final apology in light of everything that came before. In the end, I hope this sparks some serious introspection and genuine dialogue for all parties involved.

By: Kurt Hudson

Kurt Hudson — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 14:01:27 +0000

Gents–thanks for thoughtful replies; you both make good points about rational dialog. Here is why we react so strongly to this: the climate of endless negativity begins with words but often leads to job discrimination and even violence — kids go to school where bullies use ‘gay’ as an epithet, just last night a gay man was brutally attacked in Mass by 9 people, gays were beaten near to death in pride marches in Moscow and Belgrade earlier this month. Its so endemic in our culture to casually ridicule us that you as presumably straight guys probably dont see it. Its why blacks completely shut down the n-word. Words have consequences. Responsible people will join us in an effort to not be treated as sub human, and I am now quoting Mr. Blanco: “sorry folks, not equal, why bother”. The analogy about drunk driving is over the top, but my point is good people dont just have a brain fart and write something like this– and once its out there it has consequences for Blanco. We are dead serious about shutting this crap down–you would fight tooth and nail not to be institutionalized as second class. Eric, if you want to be “useful here” talk to your buddy about it. And Jeremy, get used to gay people standing up for themselves. I come from TX and would rather have stayed but left 30 years ago because of the homophobia, and moved to NY where it would be possible for me to have a career and have a loving relationship. I ended up building a business that employs hundreds of people–and its not that hard to treat em all with respect. It makes people thrive–not die a little.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 12:55:42 +0000

Frank,
This is one of the most juvenile responses I have yet seen to this chaos. Mr Blanco made a mistake, one that has been apologized for.
You sir, are now making another mistake. You are extorting Mr Blanco for some sense of pride you’ve lost by his tweet.
Isn’t that what the Gay Pride movement is supposed to fight against. Aren’t you supposed to be proud whether or not some family business doesn’t think marriage is for same sex couples?
Have you never said something stupid? Have you never been extended grace even when you may not have deserved it? Is your pride, the pride you’re fighting for, worth the destruction of a family business? Or, to put it another way, is destroying this family business going to restore your pride? If it is, I don’t think that pride is worth fighting for, because it’s not pride – its bloated self-absorption that is the most intolerant of all.

By: jeremy

jeremy — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 05:58:16 +0000

Hi Kurt,

Please don’t think I’m patronizing you when I say that I understand where you’re coming from. While I don’t pretend to know your (and others’) situations, it’s not hard for me to see how the original tweet message could be received as extremely hurtful. Even in your appeal to extremes with the drunk driver analogy, do you think it’s never possible to sympathesize, to any extent, with a driver who expresses true remorse after making a single mistake? I do. That’s not because of my “nice safe life”, it’s because of my humanity. The world is a complex place; things are rarely, if ever, black and white.

Tolerance goes both ways. I think it’s great the current movement for same sex rights has gained such momentum. It would be excellent to see it keep going, even pick up steam. I look forward to the day my LGBT family members are afforded the same rights with their partners that I am. My guess, though, is that better societal progress is made by engaging people with opposing views rather than spouting things such as “way to be homophobic jerkoffs” (a nice tweet about 3 hours ago to Brown Coffee Co). I can point to dozens of studies demonstrating, especially with religiously-rooted beliefs, an antagonistic approach ceases information-gathering, productive processes and reverts people of opposing views to heuristic, rapid judgments (e.g., Carone & Barone 2001).

You don’t have to patron BCC. In our capitalist system, we vote with our wallets. But, in a sort of utilitarianistic view, I think the good BCC brings to this world/the specialty coffee realm/the local community/etc. outweighs the pain caused by those no doubt hurtful comments. And, if you did happen to patron BCC, I think you’d see that, too.